i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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