Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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