They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
