She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
