Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
