i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
