Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
