it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
