even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
