Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
