I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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