i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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