What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
