he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He passed out mid-signature
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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