So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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