Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
