I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need to calm my uterus...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
