Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
