So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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