In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
