He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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