happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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