the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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