well I can't set my house on fire every night
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
