Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
