so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
