The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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