dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
