omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
