Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
