just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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