That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
