Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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