I can tuck mytits in my pants
only if we run a train.
done.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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