he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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