I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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