He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
God I need to hump something, right now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
