good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you will always have a special place in my vag
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
