Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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