hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
