i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
