I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
