I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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