We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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