we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I did not marry a roomba.
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