conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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