is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
