do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
