I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wish there were birth control emojis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
