Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
