u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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