you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
