Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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