I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
